Daily Archives: November 25, 2018

Today I shared a post about how clutter causes anxiety and stress. I joked around with the “So I’m not crazy after all” heading, but boy-oh-boy did that article hit home. I don’t know if you’ve seen the study by Dr. Sherrie Carte, but somehow she got right into my brain when she wrote this article. I’ve put the link (if it doesn’t work, do the right-click/Go To option) at the end of this blog, but thought I’d list the eight reasons, add a comment (mini-vent is more like it)…and then go from there:

1. Clutter over-stimulates the senses – true, sometimes I think my dyslexia has some effect on how much I can look at any given time.
2. Clutter takes a big part of your attention – yes, it does, because I want it all fixed right away.
3. Relaxation cannot be equated with clutter – true, I can’t sit still and take time for myself until everything is back in order.
4. Clutter manipulates the mind into thinking that work is never done – true, I feel like it’s never going to be clean enough, or organized enough.
5. Disorganization causes anxiety – true, again, my anxiety is a daily battle when things are out of order.
6. Clutter causes guilt and embarrassment – of course, I don’t want anyone else to see a mess.
7. Clutter restricts your mind from being creative and productive – very true, I don’t feel like I deserve to sit and do what I really want to do, like writing, when I have a mess around me.
8. Clutter causes feelings of anger and frustration – OH, YEAH….how many times have I wanted to start throwing things in the garbage to get them out of my sight (not necessarily my stuff, either).

As part of a large family, in one house, I learned quickly that I couldn’t stop the clutter. I was able to keep one little area as clutter free as possible, my bed. As I got older, married, and had children life wasn’t always neat and orderly. Thinking it would be was being naive…maybe hopeful, but certainly not realistic. I had to work hard to keep order and neatness in my home. I was told by more than one person that my home didn’t feel “lived in” – it was like walking into a hospital. In reality, I agreed, however, that is how I managed my OCD, anxiety, and stress. I could not do anything outside of my surroundings, but I could about my own home. That became my true “medication” if you want to call it that. Like self-medicating, but in a healthy way. I’ve always handled my anxiety and the depression that came along with it through work and staying busy. I’m a left-handed person. I am controlled more by the emotional side of my brain, so I have always been lucky my laughter covers a multitude of issues I carry inside.

Needless to say, life has managed to be just that…life, so I’ve had to learn not to be as OCD about things. If someone moves the table a half an inch over I may be tormented inside, but I can usually reel those feelings in to keep myself from putting the table where it belongs. I have always loved decorating my home with items. To someone like my daughter, who is a minimalist, it seems cluttered…out of her comfort zone, but to me, there is a place for everything and everything in its place. Now, living in a travel trailer for a year, I’ve learned the minimalistic way of life is looking better all the time. Still, I battle with myself because if one item is out of place I feel my shoulders tighten, and realize I’m gritting my teeth.

I wish I wasn’t this way, but that is who I am. I always thought that, perhaps, my issues stemmed from the chaos my childhood held, and maybe that is the case…but regardless of the reason, each one of the points in that study might well have come out of my own mouth, because I couldn’t agree more. I’ve worked hard to get where I am today – truly, I am leaps and bounds better than years before. My husband works with me by not laying the playing cards out as I like them, but he lets me straighten them a little. I had a doctor tell me when I was pregnant with one of my children that I was to wait thirty minutes after dinner before doing the dishes. “Sit and relax,” he says…right!!! I would watch that clock and hear the ticking of that second hand as if someone was hammering inside my brain. I could feel the anxiety climbing with every minute. Then I would shoot up out of my chair and clean, clean, clean. Now, though it doesn’t happen often, there are times I don’t even do the dishes until the next morning. That may not seem like a big deal, but it is amazing progress for me.

Will I ever be cured of this ailment we call anxiety? I doubt it, but I’m learning to live with it. In the meantime, I will continue to find ways to “adjust” and “let go” of the control. Because I really never had control at all…anxiety was (is) controlling me. Though I don’t have the same ways to self-medicate myself, I’ve resorted to taking medication off and on…currently on. It does help, but the work to change me is still up to me. The medication simply gives me the opportunity to try.

Being open about who/what/why I am has helped me become stronger and more understanding to myself because I have had to come to terms with who I am. Now I share often in hopes that something I write someone will read and think “I’m not alone, after all…and I’m not crazy.”

Here is the link if you are interested in reading the full article –  https://positiveoutlooksblog.com/2018/05/14/8-scientific-reasons-why-clutter-causes-anxiety-and-stress/

As always, thank you for reading my ramblings. I hope you enjoy a lot of holiday parties, the shopping, the hot chocolate, and the eggnog…tis the season to be jolly.