I sit by the sea…

I sit by the sea, watching, waiting for an answer to come in with the curl of a wave. Maybe the next one will hold the truth; maybe it will hold that infinite key of life, love and the pursuit of happiness.

Why is it so easy to make some decisions – what sweater to wear, what movie to see…yet matters of the heart will yank us around like a rag doll. If we love, are we loved back as expected? We know we need to protect our heart after so many tears, but then we give it away fully, so sure this time it will be protected and caressed in the manner needed – yet knowing we risk being disappointed again. Decisions are full of questions, regrets filling both sides – yet nowhere do we find the answers – nowhere are the directions clear. No blueprint sits with the mathematical lines leading here or there.

Days become a riveting array of emotions, either side holding answers, while at the same time leaving questions. Words and promises pull at us as if they are right…they hold the truth. Then the fear of their emptiness makes us want to run, hide…jump ahead to where we want to be, where we belong…but the impact of that decision is dark, unfriendly with unexpected results we are frightened to see, feel, hear…will the trail we leave ever heal? Will it see new life as we seek new air to breath…an unknown answer that haunts our core of being as we desperately wish to control it.

I sit by the sea and wait, surely a wave will release the answer as it claims the sandy beach…surely.